Few people my age would argue that the spirit of the American family has shifted greatly in my lifetime. We’ve gone from Dick Van Dyke to Desperate Housewives and from Father Knows Best to basically just doing what we think is best in life.

A question that surfaces from this reality is this: is family life more fractured or fulfilled than it was years ago? Sadly, most of us would agree with the statement that our family relationships are, in fact, more broken now than ever before. But in his Word, God tells us how to fix these fractures.

Paul explains to us in Roman 12 that whether or not we have successful consequences in life really depends on the choices we make. Verse 2 advises, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

See, the world will always be there to show us a way, but we must ask ourselves whether or not it is God’s way. He promises to lead us into better circumstances, but we must first choose to seek him.

One of the greatest illustrations of this type of transformation can be seen in King David’s life.  David wasn’t raised by an affirming father, and he certainly didn’t have siblings that supported him as he sought success in life. He was treated by his in-laws as more of a threat than an asset, and his own wife didn’t even treat him right. David was constantly opposed and put down, but he didn’t let any of that determine who he would be or how he was going to live.  Somehow God helped him to see how the new culture of blessing he desired would follow his courageous, obedient choices.

Even as a young boy King David realized that his circumstances could be changed by his choices. Eventually all of Israel followed him, because he demonstrated how difficult conditions are changed by those who choose wisely. That’s really what it all comes down to. Our lives are byproducts of the decisions we make.

Like David, we will all be tempted in life to become bitter and to yield to defeat. In those times, it helps to remember there are three choices that can be made.  Some curse their problems, others nurse their problems but God promises to reverse our problems and to reward us if we do his will.  And doing this actually becomes fairly easy once we experience how our obedience leads to his blessing.

So, the next time you feel as though a strained relationship could never be successful, remember that God promises that it can be. You do not have to become another statistic of a failed marriage, friendship or family relationship. By simply concentrating on choices that create a new reality, you can watch your fractured relationships evolve into incredibly fulfilling ones!